Sometimes You Must Confront

“Go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.”                            Mt 18:15 NKJV

Jesus said, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” Confronting someone requires these three things: character, courage, and caution. Let’s look at each: (1) Character. Since Jesus was secure in His identity and character as God’s Son, He was able to let go of the need to please and be accepted by those around Him. Being grounded in who you are in Christ, and in what your heavenly Father created you to be, allows you the freedom to confront people when necessary without worrying about the fallout or the negative consequences. (2) Courage. The Pharisees had the power to undermine Christ’s reputation, which eventually led to His death on the cross. But He told them the truth nonetheless. And you must do the same. You must be willing to take up your cross and follow Him, even when it means risking an argument and handling hurt feelings. To “confront” means to get in “front” of someone, look into their face, and deal with the issue honestly and lovingly because you value the relationship. (3) Caution. Make sure you’re following God’s timing and not your own. It’s easy to use false courage or bravado to challenge others in order to get your own way. It’s easy to claim a confrontation is necessary, when what you actually want is control. No, you must ask God to show you when, how, and where to confront others. Your goal should always be to reconcile and restore the relationship. So “go and tell him [or her].”

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