What she needs—what he needs
December 12, 2016
“Each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Eph 5:33 NLT
The Bible says, “Male and female he created them” (Ge 1:27 NIV). God created women to be more than a slightly altered version of men. Adam was all male; Eve was all female—as different from each other as day is from night. They thought, felt, talked, and acted differently. Their priorities differed. They needed different things from each other. And just as getting along under the same roof was essential for them then—it is for us now. And it calls for things like understanding, patience, unselfishness, mutual effort, and showing grace. Following Paul’s philosophy is fundamental to a happy marriage—the husband must understand that his wife needs his love, and the wife must understand that her husband needs her respect. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs reminds us that men and women speak different relationship languages, based on their differing needs. Yes, both need love and respect, but husbands feel loved when they’re given their wife’s unconditional respect, and wives feel respected when they’re given their husband’s unconditional love. Notice that Paul’s words are not simply wise words of counsel, but divine orders to be observed and obeyed. The husband “must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” God doesn’t require him to earn her respect, or her to deserve his love. Jesus, our role model, respected and loved us unconditionally at the cost of His life. And He calls us to do the same for each other. As the author of marriage, God knows what really works; so follow His guidance at home.